I've been meaning to blog; every day I practically write an entry in my head while I'm working out. But then I get to work, get busy, and don't get to writing.
Today, though, I'm not so busy, so it's time to write down some of the thoughts I've had over the last couple of weeks.
First, I haven't backslid into poor eating habits. In fact, I'm on the third week of a "Stage 2" diet of the 20/20 program - basically eating protein, vegetables, and berries. I have made an exception for pineapple and apples, though, when I get sick of strawberries.
I have had two days where I exceeded 1200 calories - but I still meal-tracked every bite and sip, and haven't had a single day where my calorie expenditure didn't exceed what I took in.
I'm down about 13 pounds. My fat pants are too big, all of my clothing fits and looks normal, and I'm feeling amazing.
When I run, nothing jiggles. I remember writing at some point last winter about needing a "butt bra" - not anymore.
My legs and arms have defined muscles in them, thanks to my consistent three-day-a-week weight lifting routine.
I ran three days this week - six miles each time. Somehow the ends of my runs - the last couple of miles - ended up faster than the beginnings. Yesterday, the last 1.1 miles was uphill. Before I realized it, I was ahead of the other girls - and they never caught back up. I think I ran that mile faster than any other - and when I was done, I wanted to go further. I finally don't feel like an imposter running.
I know that might sound ridiculous - I just ran an entire marathon a month ago - but that's how I felt. Like I was faking it, not like I was really a runner. Now that I'm back to normal, I remember how easy running used to be. It feels awesome!
I'm a little sick of my food choices, but it was easy to forgo Halloween candy. It's harder to not binge on things like nuts - and last night I had a little breakdown and ate a mix of banana chips, dried cranberries, and cashews. By my calculation, it was 350 unnecessary calories (even after I'd brushed my teeth for the night!) - and I'd love to punish myself for doing it, but I am trying to not develop the "buy food with exercise" habit right now, so I'm just meal-tracking it and moving on.
I will not be setting a new exercise goal until I am at my goal weight...which I hope to be at by Christmas. Six pounds more. I know I can do it...slowly and safely.
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1 comment:
Good post. It's interesting that you mention feeling like an impostor.
The Impostor Syndrome is the feeling that you are not as smart, talented, or skilled as people think you are. It's the feeling that you are a fake and have been getting away with something and are about to be found out. It affects 70% of adults and is especially prevalent in high achieving women.
I've spent the past two decades living with and learning about this common condition.
The Impostor Syndrome is a fascinating topic and the subject of my new book.
http://www.TheImpostorSyndrome.com
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