Seriously, more than four years since I blogged?
Here's what's happened:
-- Kids have grown big! They're 9 and 12! I probably can't blog about them and live!
-- Got divorced. Not going to talk about that here, but suffice to say it's all good.
-- Got a pretty awesome boyfriend.
-- Moved close to work, close to kids' schools.
-- Gained...20 pounds? Um, oops.
So it's that last thing that merits some blogging. Mostly I'm thinking about this because for the last few years, as I've gained weight, I've always thought, "Well, I could just work out harder tomorrow, and it will be fine."
But a week and a half ago, I was playing football (oh! yeah! I play football! The American kind! It's the most fun ever!) and I was running full-speed toward the person with the ball - I was on defense - and my teammate and I collided and something terrible happened to my knee.
I don't really remember, since I was rolling around on the ground in pain and had to be carried off the field. And the thing I couldn't get out of my head was, "How can I possibly work out like this? I'm going to gain a million pounds!"
It's been 10 days, and it's getting MUCH better. I'm off crutches and can walk reasonably. The doctor said I need to wear a brace on my leg for four weeks, then we'll reassess and figure out what to do next (it's my MCL).
What I think: It feels okay. Not awesome, not perfect, but okay. I think I'm going to heal quickly.
But the injury finally pushed me to start meal tracking properly. I know the best way to affect my body and weight is by my eating habits - not my exercise - so all I have to do is meal track and eat properly and I'll be fine.
Well, easier said than done. Blogging might help. We'll see. Either way: I'm fatter than I've been in forever. It's not getting better. I'm still athletic and stuff, but it's not the same as it was before - it makes me miserable to see myself in the mirror, just like I felt when I first realized I needed to lose the weight.
So it's time.
There are lots of blogs about losing weight, and they're awesome! I love reading them! But here's one that's about losing weight, then silence as I regain the weight, and here's a commitment to losing it again.
I'm nearly 40! If not today, when?