Sugar = depression

So this weekend was a little nutty.

First, for some reason I decided to eat popcorn Friday night. Calorie-wise, I ended up okay for the day - but I still wasn't awesome.

Then Saturday started out well, but we had a potluck Saturday night and I was drinking and friends brought over stuff like homemade macaroni and cheese, some crazy gourmet mushroom-on-bread appetizer and Mexican casserole...and combine that yummy stuff with alcohol and I pretty much ate what I wanted to instead of on plan.

So Sunday, of course, I wasn't feeling awesome as a result of the vodka and soda I'd been consuming...and food, especially carbs, did make me feel better. So, I ate really poorly compared to lately, and by Sunday night had a stomachache and, although my hangover was gone, I felt horrible because of what I'd eaten.

I started down these stupid lines of thinking: maybe I'll fast tomorrow. Maybe I'll force myself to vomit right now. Maybe I'll get my ass out of bed and start exercising RIGHT NOW, even though I'm tired and cuddling with my daughter and should be sleeping.

Finally, I forced myself to stop thinking about stupid things and resolve to go back to the right diet tomorrow (meaning, today). I fell asleep...and had terrible dreams, like that my laptop was stolen, I was lost, I didn't have all this information I needed, etc.

And then I couldn't get out of bed the first time my alarm went off...or the second...or until we had barely enough time to get the kids ready for school. It was just like last winter/spring, when I was actually depressed and couldn't get out of bed until the very last minute before I had an obligation.

I remembered why I felt so awful - the eating, the alcohol - and got my behind out of bed. I got the kids ready and drove to work.

Today is a gorgeous, warm day. I'm wearing a shirt that didn't fit five weeks ago, and I weighed myself and my morning weight was only a pound higher than it would have been had I not had all the sugar yesterday (I know it's not real weight, but water retention as a result of the sugar).

I ate turkey bacon for breakfast and brought a salad with chicken breast to work today. I know how to go back on track.

And I'm amazed at how just one crappy weekend can throw everything into a tailspin - temporarily, at least, until I catch myself and put myself back on the right path.

No more sugar. It is evil!