Friday, August 08, 2008

Wow, you're fat!

So last night, I'm in a bar. And this is what often happens in my scene - electronic dance music in Seattle, specifically trance and progressive. There are like way way more men than women, and I'm married and somewhat oblivious, so I don't really notice people. Or, it takes me a while to notice them. And I'm busy dancing anyway and trying not to make eye contact with anyone I'm not married to.

Guys, though, they don't have too many women to look at, so they look at them all - including me. Often because they've seen me over weeks and months at the same clubs they're going to, they decide that they know me - and maybe because the scene is small and everyone is connected by probably three degrees, let alone six, they think we've been introduced.

We haven't. I remember people once I look at them and talk to them.

This guy is talking to my friends, and turns to talk to my husband. It's quite possible John and the guy have met before, but I know I haven't met him, though he looks vaguely familiar. We've probably been to like 20 events at the same time and I didn't know.

We start talking; he tells me he works on the same campus as I do, so obviously he's seen me at the office. Hmm. Okay. Then we start talking about bar fights, and how he's never seen one in five years of going to this particular club. And John decides to tell him the story of my bar fight.

So I say, "Well, you know, this was Thursday night after I completed an Ironman on the previous Sunday. I was still all pumped up about being an Ironman and feeling strong and stuff."

He confirms what an Ironman is - "A full marathon, after how much swimming and biking?" and I tell him. He asks where, I tell him in Penticton, in the mountains. And then:

"I thought you had to look like Lance Armstrong to do an Ironman! Wow!"

Of course I smile and brush it off, saying, "Well, no, all you have to do is train properly. I didn't win, but I definitely did it."

A few minutes later, after a change of topic, he's back to: "So, you really did all of it?"

I reply, "Well, yeah, I wouldn't be talking about being an Ironman if I didn't!"

So of course I'm just thinking, wow. This guy thinks I'm totally fat, not athletic, not capable of finishing an Ironman.

I should kick his ass!

5 comments:

Tommy Williams said...

Or perhaps he's thinking how amazing it is to meet someone--in ordinary day-to-day life--who has done an Ironman. Completing one is a mythic feat and those of us who have never done it expect it to be associated with celebrity, not with someone who works at the same place we do and enjoys the same kind of entertainment.

Marques Lyons said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wendy said...

you are WAY too self concious when you're not in ironman training mode. =)

I suggest the following thought process:

athletes are butch. you are hot. this is not computing in the brain on how you could possibly have done all of those miles, in mountains, and be girlie.

Just my thoughts...when I was an electrician in the navy, I used to get all the time, You're a nuclear power electrician? I used to tell people, yeah, I'm actually smarter than I look. ;-) Trust me on this. Guys, well, MOST guys don't compute the unexpected well especially around girls who are pretty. it makes them nervous. ;-)

Judi said...

No, don't kick his ass, this should be a wake up call to get your fitness back.

Marques Lyons said...

You know how people have those flip photo things in their wallets with like a half million pictures of their children, you should do something similar:

"See, this is me at the Ironman event last June and this is me at the Ironman event a couple of days ago.."

I don't think he'd bother to ask anymore after that :-)