Why do I tri?

Someone asked this question today on the email alias for triathletes at my company. I know I've said all this before here, but it's been a while, and it was a good reminder for me that there is a reason I do all this training and stuff. So here's what I wrote back to the alias.

I was overweight my entire life. And it didn’t matter too much – I felt like, well, other people are athletic. I am a straight-A student and can conquer anything academic.

But then, after I had kids, overweight turned into obese. And a girl who didn’t care too much about her appearance couldn’t even look at herself in a mirror any longer – I didn’t recognize myself, and I didn’t want to see what I’d become. (It got to the point where I wouldn’t even look in the mirror to brush my hair – I’d just sweep it into a ponytail and not have any idea what I looked like day-to-day.)

Then I watched a few friends go through the amazing transformation that the 20/20 program offers, and I decided I wanted that, too. It took me months, though, to work up the courage. I knew doing 20/20 would mean being weighed, photographed, measured, and all kinds of awful things.

In Feb. 2004, I took the plunge. One of the first things I told my personal trainer was, I am never going to run. He agreed that was okay.

But then that March, I decided to try running on the treadmill. I was “running” at 4.2 mph and my HR was in the 180s. I thought I was going to die. But eventually, it settled down…and I “ran” for 2.5 miles that very first time.

I signed up for Danskin that week. I’d seen a co-worker’s race number up on her wall, and it always seemed so inaccessible to me. But Danskin was in late August, just when I’d be finishing 20/20. I figured if there was a time to do it, that would be it – it could be a celebration of my success.

I didn’t start formally training for Danskin until mid-June; I needed to continue to focus on weight loss. But once I did, my workouts felt so purposeful. It was no longer exercise – it was TRAINING, and training offers a structure and goals that really appeal to my program manager personality.

Completing Danskin was a massive accomplishment, and it opened a door for me into an athletic, physical world that was now as accessible to me as the academic world. The next year, I did a couple of sprint triathlons and focused on my first full marathon. And then last year, I did a couple of half-Ironmans. There’s always another goal, something bigger, something left to prove.

This summer, I’ll prove how strong I am at Ironman Canada. I don’t expect to finish fast, but I fully expect to finish with a smile on my face, and another goal accomplished.

This is really bigger than triathlon – triathlon is huge, but it’s not everything. I’ve got a pretty significant list of things I want to do at some point. The Western States endurance run. The Death Ride. Climb Mt. Rainier.

But now, thanks to triathlon, I’m positive I can do these things. I know how to set goals, create a plan, and execute – regardless of whether it’s graduating from Vassar with honors or doing a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run in one day.