Oh my goodness, when I saw all the comments this morning, I realized last night I was making a big deal out of something that probably really isn't a big deal, and says more about my own issues (and the anonymous commenter's assumed age) than anything else.
Sure, the anonymous commenter is probably a kid (meaning, 20 or under) and to him/her, 32 might seem middle-aged.
Regardless, though, I'd be excited to see Wes or DeeDee dancing on a tabletop - and I wouldn't think they were too old for it, or too WHATEVER for it. I'm not too old or fat or parental for a little fun! (Especially since I always wear shorts under my miniskirts - preferably skirts with built-in shorts, like little girl clothes - I may dance on a tabletop, but I don't need the world to see my undies!)
But anyway, the point is, as much as I celebrate my lack of inhibition, I do feel a little weird about my own behavior sometimes. I blogged about this on my Disney blog, but to reiterate, it's like since I became a mother, I've felt like I'm supposed to live up to some ideal of what a mother is. This extends to everything: like how I should dress, what car I should drive, what hair colors are acceptable, what I do for fun with other adults.
The thing is, I'm NOT that. Ask my kids: they'll tell you I love them for sure, but that I'm not like storybook or even their friends' mothers. I don't wear sweater sets and khakis. I can't play Candyland for hours on end.
(I do enjoy my kids - especially when we're doing something physical - even something like bowling, which we did last night with my grandparents. Seriously, watching Camille's face when she got a spare - all by herself, plus the gutter-bumpers - was a humongous joy.)
And now that my kids are big enough to leave with a babysitter (and John and I have always had his parents to watch the kids for an evening or overnight), I want to go out and enjoy my life as an adult! I like music, I like to dance, and hey - so does my husband. So why shouldn't we go out until 4 in the morning - or later - if our kids are safe and we're having fun?
So I'm plagued by the idea that I'm not the perfect mom who bakes cookies and builds stuff with Legos. At the same time, I rebel against being a "soccer mom" - my goodness, if my pink hair isn't any indication of that rebellion, I don't know what is.
So when someone random calls me "middle aged," I'm sensitive. I still feel young, and I don't want to be stereotyped by what someone else thinks a 32-year-old mother ought to be or not be.
But in my defense yesterday, I inadvertently succumbed to those same stereotypes: like at some point, I might be middle-aged and not dance on tabletops.
Well, we'll see. Maybe my interests will change; most likely they will. But until then, no matter what my chronological age, I'm all about pink hair, dancing, and my kids. Even if they play soccer!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I think our kids just want to feel safe and loved, and I think it's good for them to see us not taking ourselves too seriously. It is my greatest hope that my son will feel confident to be himself, regardless of the situation. I think it's (a healthy self image)the only weapon we have against peer pressure, and when that pressure gets tougher (as they get older), hopefully he won't care about what other people think.
So, I think it's great you're yourself, not what people think a mom "should" be.
Well, I certainly didn't take offense, not at all, and I personally would be afraid of dancing on a table top. The floor is good enough for me :-)
The key point, I think, is I don't mind being stereotyped if that fits into who I am as a person. I fit a bunch of stereotypes, but they are different from the stereotypes you fit. Make sense? Like a puzzle. It's who I am and its NOT who anyone else is and I'm OK with that, and I certainly won't conform or have stereotypes foisted on me that I do not want. Makes me happy :-)
Post a Comment